The Missing Link

I'm a big fan of DIY. Do-It-Yourself. If it's doable, I'll give it a try. But it has recently come to my attention that I may never be able to make my own candy bars. Why? Nougat.

You see, as I stroll through the aisles of my local grocery store and dictate this post into the voice-recognition computer in my knapsack, nougat is the only ingredient I can't find. Chocolate? There it is. Peanuts? Yes, right there by the beef jerky (which I will pick up for non-candy-making purposes). Oh, and look! Caramel is even in season right now. But I have been up and down every aisle here and nougat is nowhere to be found.

I just can't make a decent candy bar without nougat. All the commercials tout it as an essential part of the candy bar experience, hyping it up with adjectives like fluffy, creamy, and chewy. 3 Musketeers, Milky Way, and Snickers all have it. Even the lowly, old-school Zero Bar is privileged enough to let nougat grace its ingredient list. And yet I can't just go buy some nougat. Disgraceful.

This reminds me of watching MacGyver as a kid. They'd actually show how to make gunpowder while "conveniently" omitting one important ingredient, leaving me no other option than to buy my bullets instead of make them myself. Did you know that MacGyver was sponsored by Winchester's line of rhino ammunition? Of course you didn't. They don't show bullet commercials in prime time.

I'd call for a full blown investigation into this confectionary monopoly, but let's be realistic. The kind of investigators that would take up the nougat cause would probably mess it all up and go after Nougat, the band. And since no one wants to see Australian mandolin players raked over the coals, I'm inclined to let this one go. Still, it would be nice to see some unaffiliated nougat in the stores. Maybe right...here. In this space I just cleared next to the marzipan.