How To Waste $23.99

Whoever came up with the idea of selling complete seasons of TV shows on DVD was a marketing wizard. For the networks, it's a chance to generate extra revenue on shows that have already been produced. For the consumers, it's a chance to relive episodes of their favorite sitcoms and catch up on key chapters (or even full seasons) of hit dramas. If it weren't for season two of Lost on DVD, I don't know what I'd do with my Wednesday nights. It's a win-win.

Unless, of course, those consumers are the mindless nerfs who would be dumb enough to shell out twenty-four bucks plus shipping for season two of The Andy Milonakis Show. MTV has put out some truly crap programming over the years, but this one stands proudly at the top of the dung heap as an absolute waste.

Andy Milonakis is a 29 year-old man. Wouldn't know it from the picture, would ya? It's true. He has a congenital growth-hormone condition that makes him look and sound like the pre-adolescent kid he plays on his show. Now, I'll admit that the first episode of The Andy Milonakis Show I ever watched was actually pretty funny. Granted, I was probably pretty blitzed on Dr. Pepper and Meat Lover's pizza, but on nights like that, there's plenty of room for some adolescent humor. So I watched this "kid" walk up to random people on the streets of Brooklyn and say off-the-wall things like, "Oh, I love your hair! Can I have it?" His sketches were so bizarre, they were pretty hilarious. But the next week's episode was exactly the same shtick. And so was the next. I was convinced that this show was just a sub, my term for 30 cheap minutes whose sole purpose is to hold a time slot for a few weeks until the REAL series premiers.

Two seasons later, Andy is still yammering on like the bad date who JUST. WON'T. SHUT. UP.

So if you're really desperate to get a Milonakis fix, check out YouTube instead. Just don't blow it on these DVDs. If that twenty-four bucks is still burning a hole in your pocket, may I suggest some more useful ways to spend it:

• Send it to me.
• Use it as toilet paper.
• Invest in Enron.
• Bet it on the Tennessee Titans to win the Super Bowl this year.

Thank you.