A while back, I made a Macgyver reference. For those of you who are unfamiliar with (or too young to remember) Macgyver, he was an everyday superhero, able to escape from any situation with an amazing combination of household items. If the situation called for it, he could walk into your kitchen and grab a few things, and mix them up in just the right combination. The result could unleash an explosion capable of inspiring shock and awe in countless retirees across the country.
So today I had a Macgyver moment, of sorts. It's a co-worker's birthday today, so we had lunch brought in from Saltgrass Steakhouse. And I cleaned my plate. 7 oz. filet mignon, medium rare, grilled shrimp, mashed potatoes, and salad with bleu cheese dressing. Yum! But somehow the conversation after lunch turned to swapping worst-pain-I-ever-felt stories. I'm not a total wuss, but I can have a weak stomach if there's reason to (and especially when it's full to the brim). Still, it was bearable.
However, when we left the conference room, a strange odor wafted past my nose. I looked up and saw smoke pouring out of the breakroom, which made it immediately apparent that someone had left her Lean Cuisine in the microwave a bit too long. And then it hit me. I needed fresh air, and FAST!
I went for a walk around the building, but the stench was still lingering in my nostrils, mixing with the still-fresh visions of broken toes, dislocated shoulders, and spinal taps. By the time I got to the far side of the building, my tortured senses had worked their way down to the surf & turf brewing in my belly. In true Macgyver fashion, the three ingredients came together in the perfect combination of gastric volatility.
Sigh. Now I'm hungry.
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5 comments:
Wait... did you puke??
Two words: projectile vom.
At first I thought you were going to say that the stench you smelled was puppies. And gross. I hope you informed that maintenance staff that you vommed all over the place- you know, so they could come sprinkle kitty litter or that sand stuff, or the foam. That's always fun to look at.
In my auto mechanic class, we used good old fashioned saw dust to soak up the blood from my car. That stuff is surprisingly absorbant - there wasn't even a stain!
Well, I spewed in the grass in a far corner of the property, so no big deal.
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