Thursday, May 03, 2007

I Wanna Rock!

While I'm working, I've got my whole music collection on shuffle, so it's like audio schizophrenia all day long. I love it. Today, the first song that came up was "Pour Some Sugar On Me" by Def Leppard, and I was instantly hit with memories of elementary-school summer days spent at the skating rink, trying to skate backwards to the beat of a one-armed drummer.

So great are those memories, that I hereby declare today as Hair Metal Thursday. So put some Poison in your playlist, grab your Guns N' Roses, put on your spandex and RATT out your hair, and just ROCK! You can see what I've been listening to in my Last.fm chart over there on the right. Let me know in the comments what you're listening to or what memories some old metal song brings back for you.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

An Early Christmas Wish List

Just on the off-chance that one of you is thinking, "Hey, The Rules is a great guy, and I'd like to buy him something," may I suggest this.



Thank you.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Get a life, eh?

Every day it seems I come across something that makes me lose a little more faith in humanity. Sanjaya Malakar is one of them, but that's another post for another day. Today, it was the news of the Toronto Blue Jays commercial being banned by the Television Bureau of Canada because it depicts slugger Frank Thomas swatting one of his kids with a pillow in a pillow fight.

Yes. A pillow.

You can read all about it for yourself in The New York Times and form your own opinion, but it is The Rules' opinion that anyone who can't find the innocent humor in this ad has a black soul and eats puppies for lunch. I'm sure that Jim Patterson, president of the Television Bureau of Canuckdom, enjoys a Schnauzer on rye at least three times a week.

Which is exactly why I love YouTube. The TVB may not want you to see the ad, but I sure do. So feast your eyes on this wonderful piece of advertising genius (and leave the puppy feasting to the critics).



Update: If any of you want to let Jim Patterson know that his verdict regarding this ad is hogwash, you can email him at the address I found on this page of the TVB's website. And please, be civil. You don't want a black soul too.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Quirkless Quirkleby

For the record, I have no quirks. I am completely quirkless. And before any of you try to argue that, "Nuh uh, you do too have quirks! I've seen em," please take into account that the quirks in question are those of the person for whom I am an alter ego. He's a quirked-up mess.

That's one of the benefits of being an alter ego. You get to decide exactly who or what you want to be. You get to embrace the people you like and rebuke those you don't. It's an amazing little way to live life. It's really quite cool. Plus, as an alter ego, you get to do all kinds of things that normal people can only dream of doing.

For example, some of you may be wondering why I haven't posted in over a month. The truth of the matter is that I've been out pillaging, and loving it so much that posting hasn't seemed very exciting. Then again, not too many things are as exciting as pillaging. In this day and age, pillaging has become somewhat of an elite form or recreation. I mean, who really gets to pillage anymore? Not normal people, that's for sure. Maybe maniacs and heathens will pillage on occasion, but the rest of the sane world usually stops them before they get too far. No way could they ever enjoy a solid month of unrestricted plunder. (I have not, mind you, been doing any raping, because that's just wrong even if you are a made-up person. The Rules does not endorse raping of any kind.)

So you see, if you're looking for quirks, you won't find any here, so go find them on other people's blogs (although, given my limited readership, you probably already have). And don't worry, I haven't given up posting. In fact, I've got a few super special posts in the works. So sit tight and stay tuned, because The Rules rules. Yes.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Personal Hygiene: An Introspective

Just one of the many hilarious videos I found last night while not watching the Mediocre Bowl.

Friday, February 02, 2007

A Sickness Haiku


Mucus flows freely
I pray for solid boogers
Please send more Puffs Plus


Monday, January 22, 2007