Monday, November 27, 2006

The Suckiness of Cameraphones

Cameraphones take some truly crap pictures. Here are some of mine.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

An Ode to Yesterday

Warning: If you're easily grossed out, go ahead and skip this one.

Friday, November 10, 2006

A Lethal Combination

A while back, I made a Macgyver reference. For those of you who are unfamiliar with (or too young to remember) Macgyver, he was an everyday superhero, able to escape from any situation with an amazing combination of household items. If the situation called for it, he could walk into your kitchen and grab a few things, and mix them up in just the right combination. The result could unleash an explosion capable of inspiring shock and awe in countless retirees across the country.

So today I had a Macgyver moment, of sorts. It's a co-worker's birthday today, so we had lunch brought in from Saltgrass Steakhouse. And I cleaned my plate. 7 oz. filet mignon, medium rare, grilled shrimp, mashed potatoes, and salad with bleu cheese dressing. Yum! But somehow the conversation after lunch turned to swapping worst-pain-I-ever-felt stories. I'm not a total wuss, but I can have a weak stomach if there's reason to (and especially when it's full to the brim). Still, it was bearable.

However, when we left the conference room, a strange odor wafted past my nose. I looked up and saw smoke pouring out of the breakroom, which made it immediately apparent that someone had left her Lean Cuisine in the microwave a bit too long. And then it hit me. I needed fresh air, and FAST!

I went for a walk around the building, but the stench was still lingering in my nostrils, mixing with the still-fresh visions of broken toes, dislocated shoulders, and spinal taps. By the time I got to the far side of the building, my tortured senses had worked their way down to the surf & turf brewing in my belly. In true Macgyver fashion, the three ingredients came together in the perfect combination of gastric volatility.

Sigh. Now I'm hungry.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

I Smell Like Puppies

Today I went to lunch, just like I do every day. Everything about my lunch break was completel normal. Until I got in my car to go back to work.

As I was backing out of my parking space, I noticed an odd smell that wasn't there when I left the office. At first I thought it was wet dog, and even let out a Daddy Warbucks-esque, "Why do I smell WET DOG?" But after a few more sniffs, I knew it wasn't wet dog that I was smelling. It was puppies. And after I got back to the office, I sat down at my desk and realized that the puppy smell was on me.

I'm not particularly offended by puppy smell, I'm just a little perplexed at how my car managed to start smelling like puppies in the fifteen minutes it took me to eat my sandwich. The doors were locked and the windows were cracked (it's an unseasonable 85° outside right now), so I'm pretty sure that no puppies got in my car while it was unattended.

I thought I might just be paranoid and that my hyper-acute olfactory sense was just messing with me. So without explaining why, I asked a trusted co-worker to smell me. He looked at me a little strange and then leaned in and took a whiff.

"Did you get a puppy?" he queried.

Great. I always knew I was part bloodhound, but I never thought that I'd smell like one.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Seal It Up

On a recent trip to the store, I purchased a few items. Among them was a bag of brown sugar (to make eating my oatmeal tolerable), beef jerky (to make Friday night tolerable), and new socks (because socks are better than Tom Cruise). Yet it wasn't until I got home that I made the striking discovery that all three products had something in common: resealable bags.

A resealable zipper on the first two products makes perfect sense. A resealable bag helps keep brown sugar from going stale and it lets you lock away that beef jerky aroma before others smell it and come ask you if they can have some. But the need for a zipper on a bag of socks completely baffled me. I've never had the need to keep socks fresh, nor have I ever had anyone smell my socks and come ask me if they can have one. Such an oddity renders me weak, and only Google can restore my powers. So I set out on an online quest to find the reasoning behind resealable socks.

The first thing I found out is that the zipper bag is made by Zip-Pak. According to their site, the Hanes bag features their webless zipper, which they say is great for cheese, produce, and personal products. I guess socks could be considered personal products, though I wouldn't say they're quite as personal as underwear (which, coincidentally, are also available in a resealable bag). Interesting information, but it still didn't reveal the benefit of resealable socks. So on with the search!

Next thing I came across was a site called This Is Broken, where they review things that are poorly designed or executed. The resealable socks they review are Fruit of the Loom, but the concept is the same. Yet still no explanation as to why. A quick read of the comments there shows that everyone is as confused as I am. I take comfort in not being the only one who is all bent out of shape about this. It makes me feel a little less wierd. In my search, I came across one example after another of bloggers asking the same answerless question.

If I were feeling really enterprising, I would have gone directly to the source (stay tuned for the Lunchables saga, where I did just that), but fortunately someone has already done the dirty work for me. This guy contacted Hanes and their reply was:
The reasealable bags are for consumers to be able to open the bag and bag and view the product.


That's it. That's the reason. I was expecting something grand and exciting, but I guess you can't really get too exciting with crew socks. Lunchables, on the other hand....